I've written probably 100 posts in my head. I'm not sure why 2:30 am seems to be the time when my brain decides it can function (I'd like that to stop brain) - but by the time I wake up in the morning, the post no longer seems...right.

I'd like to sit down and tell you about school. How busy it's made me the last couple of weeks. But I'm in the throws of it right now and I can't go on about what's making me crazy.

I'd like to tell you about all the items I've made for the Boy - and my girls. But they are few and far between (see above) - so you'll have to wait.

I'd love to show you a picture of the fire that got stared in the preserve behind our house - and then literally, spread like wildfire. But my pregnancy brain was more concerned about saving our backyard (where would I plant the 40 million plants I've planned if it's all burned?) than taking pictures. (Thank G-d - nothing happened to our yard - or anyone around us - but the preserve....it got burnt bad!).

But I would like to tell you how excited I am that in a less than 2 months, I'll be done with school. Today is March 15th. I graduate May 15th.

I decided to go back to school in July of '06. A friend of mine from college had just died. Too young, for something that wasn't her fault (mixed medications that gave her a reaction). She sent an email on Friday saying how excited she was to be an aunt...and then she was gone the next morning.

It only takes one thing in your life to happen for you to sit back and wonder if you are experiencing life to the fullest. That if you went tomorrow - would you be happy how you lived? I wasn't happy. I hated my job and some of the people I worked with. It took me away from the girls when they needed me. I just couldn't do it anymore.

But the idea of not working - that scared me too. We bought this house assuming I'd have some income - not a full salary - but something. And I never saw myself as a stay at home mom. Some of my friends were and they were NOT happy (also on the list at the time - look for better friends who are better parents).

So I looked. Teaching would take me away more than the current position. Another job would require full time. Nursing seemed like a good option - wonder what I have to do to get that done?

Three years later, I sit here - the weekend before my last CRAZY test - and the week before my last practical exam. Sure, I'm nervous about both. But I'm also excited to show my instructors that I have learned a ton since that first day I got excited about learning to wash my hands 'correctly'. :)

And I'm also excited that I'm able to take some time off to spend with my children without having to worry about school work - or when I'll find a job. I'll be able to just be mom. Maybe that's what I should have done 3 years ago too. Just be a mom.